The Journey to Self love
Love yourself is something we hear every day , but we don’t really try to understand. Some people find it overrated, others find it difficult and some find it even impossible. We, sure do understand what the words exactly mean but we don’t know how to put it to practice.
Therefore , today I’ll be introducing you to the journey of change, the journey of getting to know the quintessential element in developing a healthy sense of self love. However ,don’t get too excited, because this journey is a whole process and like every process , loving yourself takes time, effort and no one says it is an easy process because if it was easy, everybody would have done it.
However, no matter how hard and how long it took, I would have never traded it for the world. It was one of my best if it was not my best journey. I got to meet the love of my life, ME! Through it I got to know myself and found my voice which allowed my soul to rejoice and make the sole choice of aspiring to inspire no matter the place or time.
My journey didn’t happen overnight or even over a year, it happened over experiences. It took me a hell of a lot to get to where I am today. Briefly, it took me two huge sit downs with myself. It all started in 2016 when I thought I love myself and when 2019 arrived it showed me naah,, you don’t really love yourself, you want to think you are but you really don’t and we have to do it all over again but right this time. In this blog, I want to talk to you about what really got me to this self love and self respect, I will tell you what hit me and I will get emotionally naked in this blog because I want every single one of you to get to love herself unapologetically.
Early 2019-My journey started when I decided to focus on myself. One would ask how? All my life, I have given people the right to tell me how to feel. My feelings were very dependent and very people oriented. I wanted people to be happy even if that means I am less than happy. I would ask for their permission and opinions on everything even if not on purpose. The other thing is I was never enough for me and no matter how much I have done or accomplished I would never feel enough.
One would ask, when was the trigger point? I don’t know exactly when, but I remember how I felt? I felt pretty bad, sad and despised of myself. With a little bit of hindsight, I think that was my trigger point, you know why? I will tell you the story. That day, I remember telling myself, what have I done wrong AGAIN? I was fighting with myself and trying to figure out (like every other time) what I was doing wrong? But the answer that day was, you did nothing wrong, they are doing you wrong for God sake wake up! I remember this like it was yesterday. I was so not good. I was crying, the migraine was killing me and I was thinking to myself why me? That day I decided that every time I cry or I feel this way, I will take a picture of myself. I have quite the album now, maybe someday I will share it with you. Moral of the story, I felt like sh$t. The person, or people that made me feel like that also made me feel like it is my fault. Those same people when they saw me like that didn’t tell me to stop crying or didn’t try to comfort me. They didn’t come back the day after to apologize or make things better. Of course at the time, I am not thinking as clearly as today, but I knew though the problem was not ME. and right there my friend the journey to self love has begun.
I told myself now is the time to focus on YOU. I worked so very hard you have no idea. I snapped, but I knew what I deserved and got back to the game right after. I am going to be honest with you, I didn’t start by eliminating those people from my life the first thing; I probably should have done, but I didn’t. I started with myself, and I think that what made getting them out easier. One would ask how did you focus on yourself, let me tell you sweetheart.
I asked my riri, what do you want to do in life? How do you want to spend your life? How do you like spending your time? What makes you happy? Who is your support system in case you snap? Who do you love the most in this life? I didn’t have an answer to all these questions at the time, but I made it my mission to answer them. I simply focused on myself. I slowly but surely detached myself from people’s opinions, I didn't ask for any permission and I simply lived. Be careful, those you gave power at first will come to you as if it is their right to give opinion and permission but you have to fight back because nothing is worth your life honey you only have one.
One of the other things that I worked on during that time was and still is gratitude. I need you to know and I can’t stress this enough, gratitude is the heart of self love. You have to feel enough, humble and grateful. What you have is what you deserve, but aspire. Do not compare yourself to any other human being that is the cancer of self love. Once you start comparing yourself, you are doomed my friend. It will take time, but eventually, you will get through it.
Remember one thing, sometimes it is very hard to get those toxic people out of your life, remember that it is okay, as long as you take their power away. The power to marionette your life. Honey, go out, make friends, laugh, make memories, and simply live. No love is worth risking your self love. No friendship is worth risking your own friendship. Be your own lover, be your own friend, be your own soulmate because if you can’t do that to yourself, you won’t be able to do it for anyone else.
I know when I talk about it now, it seems easy and also I know it is a struggle. This journey will not only make you stronger, independent and powerful, but it will teach how to love, how to be empathetic and how to appreciate yourself and people around you. Self love is not about being selfish and arrogant, self love is about teaching yourself about love so you can love and be loved in a healthy and nurturing way.
Sweetheart, I don’t think of this blog as your way out or the article that will tell you how to love yourself but think of it as your sign to start focusing on what you have best, YOU. I am not in any way trying to tell you this is easy, I want to normalize that loving yourself is god damn hard and no one on this earth will be able to do it for you. Loving yourself has to start from within and can only start from within. If you want to talk to girlfriend, I am always here.
Riri.
